A Dull Diwali !

Had a continuous 4 days off including the weekend on the account of diwali. Almost everyone (of my friends) were in hurry on the last working day as the they had train/bus to catch for a small vacation or visiting their native place.

For me, it was a dull holiday. With no love ones around to meet and home being too far to go. I decided to sleep through the whole four days. Must have slept more than 50 hours in 4 days.

Now, I found the sound of crackers really annoying. No longer had the desire to burst any crackers or lit any candle. So, on the diwali night I was on rather bad mood due to continuous crackers in my society. Either I have become more lazier and loner or aging at a faster pace.

Late night, I watched "The Lake House" (Original Korean version). Wonderful movie. Off late I'm watching Korean movies a lot.

A shoulder to cry !

Long, long time ago I was completely heart-broken. So much heart-broken that my trichotillomania had worsen irreparably and anyone could visibly see the fast receding hair density. I spoke to anyone on my phone list just to kill the solitude inside me which was haunting me like hell. The food was bad no matter what it was, loss sleep for many days and still felt really active in the next morning. Kept on watching the phone every minutes hoping for a miss call or sms. Was losing weight on a very fast pace. Her thought brought tears, wanted to go somewhere and suicide was very compelling that time. I looked upon everyone hoping to find a shoulder to cry and help me out from the mess but, at the end of day it was only me and me only.

That time I realized it was myself to fix the mess rather than looking for help or shoulder to cry on. I deleted her number and started erasing memories associated with her slowly. It was painful process. It took a long time and lot of will.

But, finally I move on. Persistence and will power paid at the end.

Learned many lessons from these incidents. Perhaps the most important lesson is the ability to move on what matter it is and there is no free lunch. It has also taught me many more lesson which I think won't be ethical to express here.

The shoulder you are looking to cry is your own only and no one else. You yourself is the solution for everything to your life.

A grim quote

I have the habit of writing quotes. Many of my posts in this blog are tagged with "quotes". I used to introspect myself and would scribble some quotes which is applicable to myself. Some of colleagues find it really good and some don't comment but, I enjoy writing them. And, also I used to sms these quotes to my friends when I pretty sure that they would sleeping blissfully as i don't want to disturb them and want to avoid any debate on it.

As usual I wrote a quote yesterday which is roughly based on my life. It says :

"Life gives you one chance at a time. Learn to move on if you miss that chance."

Once wrote then I forwarded to 3 of friends. One replied saying "Thank you for your encouragement." Another replied saying "Please don't send forwarded sms." And, the third one didn't bother to reply back and I thought he must be sleeping.

The next monday morning the third friend called me and asked me whether that quote had something to do with him. Whether I am referring of his past life by this quote. On this I politely replied "No idea. It is just my thought which I scribbled down and sent to you." He showed a sign of relief and kept the phone.

Perhaps, this quote is applicable to us in many ways. Maybe a grim reality of life.

No longer sweet memories

That day i was lying idle enjoying a lazy weekend. With nothing much to do, I was remembering past incidents of life. After some time, I could no longer continue as some memories tuned soured. It started hurting suddenly and felt as if I killed someone. The same incident was one of sweetest memories some months ago. Now, the same memories has turned soured. So much soured that I hope that it was only in my dreams. Perhaps, I can erase these bad memories.

Music/Guitar Front : I'm practicing my heart out to get the rhythm right. Chords, I can hold properly upto what had been taught to me.

First Class !

Last friday, I attended my first music class in the form of learning guitar. It was really a good experience to start learning what you couldn't do it previously. The class started with learning how to read the music. We had been taught to play few notes on the first day. Bit exhaustive due to uncomfortable way of holding guitar which was slightly different from my usual style. At the end, a good experience.

Came home and I practiced those taught to us for more than hours. The new way of holding the guitar is now comfortable to me. No strain as of now. Weekend also I practiced a lot as I wanted to learn as quick as possible come what may.

Till the next class which is on coming thursday I gonna practice day-in day-out to be expert on those things which was taught on the first day.